Real Help Is Helping You Find Your Answers, Not Mine
The phone rang. I heard a young man’s voice. He asked: ‘Do you do readings?’ I quickly thought of the best words to answer his question. It was the Queen’s birthday, I was walking on the pier in Manly and just passing a crowded bar. I could hardly hear myself think. I had to be bold.
‘No,’ I answered, ‘I don’t do readings. I can help you to find your own answers, I don’t give them for you.’ I quickly thought to add: ‘I find that more helpful for people, to have them find their own answers as opposed to telling them what to do.’
The young man knew enough. He thanked me and hung up.
With hindsight I wish I’d thought of a more diplomatic answer. I wish I’d asked him what he was looking for – to what question he needed an answer, and perhaps I could assist him with it. But in the freedom of the public holiday and the happiness of the sun-drenched harbour views, I hadn’t been able to think of anything better than what I came up with.
It’s true, I don’t do readings. I truly believe that I am of much better help to people when I assist them to find their own new answers and solutions as opposed to me simply suggesting what they should do. But many people don’t want to find their own answers and solutions – many people simply want to be told what to do, what to expect and what not to do by someone who believes they are connected with some source that knows best.
I am a true believer in some sort of source, the divine, God, if you want to use that name for the unnameable. I just don’t believe that it is of any help for people to undermine their creative thinking, the consequences of their actions, and the lessons that they will learn from that. I sometimes feel that I’m God’s hands and feet, and that I serve That which is greater than we are, but I serve That by helping people to better understand their choices and the consequences rather than taking that away from them by telling them what to do.
What’s more, often what readers tell their clients is pure nonsense. I’ve tried it myself on numerous occasions because I thought that I had to experience it myself first before I would be allowed to judge. There has not been one card- or aura-reader anywhere, who has ever told me anything that was useful to me.
What I have found to be truly useful were those encounters with helpers – counsellors, coaches, healers – during which the helper was able to NOT say what he or she thought about me or for me, or tell me what ‘came through for me’ or what they were ‘getting’, … during which the helper helped me to discover my own new insights by asking me questions, by confronting me with discrepancies in my story and behaviour, and by truly serving my process by getting themselves out of the way.
I have experienced first hand that THAT was helpful for me. That is why I choose to be a helper like those helpers: truly serving YOUR process, not mine.
It’s of no importance at all to tell you what I’m ‘getting’ for you. It’s not about me! It’s about you!
The young man on the phone obviously didn’t want to hear all of the above. He wanted a reader to read him his truth instead of finding it out for himself. I hope he will find what he’s looking for and I believe he will. We’re all different. You may prefer my way or you may prefer another. It’s all good. All roads lead to Rome, eventually. It’s just a matter of preference.
If you feel you prefer my way and are interested in what I offer, call me or write an email. Let’s have a chat and see if there’s a click between us, for starters.
To creative thinking,