Don’t avoid the void if you want to be happy and free

shutterstock_168347648On your quest for happiness and freedom you may have looked for answers and solutions everywhere around you – in books, documentaries, workshops, lectures, online; in going out perhaps and drinking and/or using drugs and/or having sex, or in extensive travel. You may have tried everything you could think of to fill a certain void you’ve felt inside of you – to find happiness; to feel free. You may have succeeded at times, and you may have not.

I have spoken about happiness and freedom with hundreds of people. I haven’t met one person who said that lasting freedom and happiness were to be found outside of them. They may have experienced these two states of mind for a short time when they were high, when they were in love or when they were drunk. It always wore off soon, leaving them feeling more miserable than before.

Those people who feel happy and free most of the time, are those who have found some sort of light inside of themselves – the ‘enlightened’ ones.

That ‘void’ that people want to avoid (!) and want to fill, is your treasure. It is in this ’emptiness’ where your light – your happiness; your freedom – originates. Avoiding the void is making it nearly impossible to beginning to feel better.

In this ‘void’ there is no judgement, no thought, no emotion, no colour, no opinion, no nagging and no blame. There is no desire in this ’emptiness’ and no disappointment about not having fulfilled a desire.

We are so used to always having thoughts and feelings, opinions and judgement, that it may be very scary at first not to have any of that. But it is IN this ‘nothingness’ that you are truly free. It is in the ‘void’ where lasting happiness awaits.

We tend to disapprove of anything that is ‘nothing’. We don’t know what to think of no-thing. It makes us feel uncomfortable because we rather know what to think – we rather feel certain than not to know something. Uncertainty is hard to bear; it may feel unsafe. Yet it is IN the uncertainty where the treasure lies. When you have the courage to explore the unknown you will be rewarded.

This is the journey into your own inner sanctum. When you dare go into that ‘void’ you allow yourself to be free and to notice where you originated from: a vast spaciousness, a field of endless possibility, on and in which you can do what you want.

Meditation combined with letting go, is a good way to take the road into the ‘void’. You simply sit for half an hour a day, being undisturbed, and welcome and let go of any feeling and thought that comes up. You will notice that there is an endless stream of thoughts and feelings. Don’t resist this. You want to welcome this stream instead, allow it all into your consciousness, and then decide to let go of all of it, little by little, as well as big chunks at a time. Continue to let every thought and feeling pass you by in this manner; don’t cling to any of it – simply welcome and let go, welcome and let go, welcome and let go, et cetera.

As you are welcoming and letting go of the stream of feelings and thoughts, you will notice that it will impress you less and less, up until a point where you don’t care whether there is a new thought or not. This is where you will notice something else that is underneath and beyond this stream: a silence, a spaciousness … , the ‘nothingness’; the ‘void’.

Simply allow yourself to ‘sit’ there, residing in this space. When you accept this emptiness; when you allow yourself to surrender to its vastness without any fear and without any desire to fill it up, you are ready to experience its wonder.

I cannot predict what it is you will find there. Your treasure is yours. It is deeply personal and intimate. It may be very similar to somebody else’s experience and it may be very different. Whatever it is, it is yours, and it is sacred. It is everlasting. It is always there. Be still, go beyond thinking and feeling, accept the emptiness, and simply receive.

This is ‘being’ as opposed to ‘doing’. Our human purpose is to find balance between this ‘being’ and ‘doing’. And it is in the ‘being’ that we find the freedom and the joy to be successful in the ‘doing’.

If you feel like having a chat about this, please feel free to contact me.

To your freedom and happiness,

Miriam

 

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